Isolation Networks

The first social network I joined was Orkut back in 2007. I was only 15 years old, and I loved the idea of staying in touch with friends over the school break or having another way to communicate with friends I made during our vacations or trips to different places. Orkut broadened my word so that I could meet and talk to more than the people that were in my immediate social circle. Back then, social networks were, well, social. I only added people who were friends and who I wanted to share my life with. There were no ads, no “suggested posts,” or algorithms. You could join communities, meet people, and turn acquittances into friendships.

I joined Facebook a few years later, and then came Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat… and many, many others. Sixteen years later, I have more social profiles that I can manage, and I almost never see friends’ posts in them. Somewhere along the way, social networking became social media, and social media became just media. What's really the difference between listening to the news or opening your Facebook feed?

When I was little, my grandpa used to babysit us until my parents came home from work. I remember how he used to watch the news at least three times, one on each channel. At the time, I was just annoyed at how redundant it was to see the same news on three channels, one after the other. Wasn't all the same thing? Why listen to it again?

I understand now.

When you are watching TV you have the option to change the channel and get a new perspective. Channel 6 News tells the story in a different way than Channel 5. And with a click of a button, you get to hear both sides of the story, knowing where each channel stands. And that's the difference between our new “social” media and regular media.

If you look at your Facebook or Instagram feed, you will only see your point of view reinforced again and again. The algorithm makes sure you see news and posts that reinforce what you already think. You are robbed of the option to “change channels” because you are robbed of the option to choose what you want to see. The algorithm decides it for you. And there's nothing social about that. We are being forced-fed content based on AI.

In my recent efforts to change how I interact in “social” networks, I tried to purge through all my subscriptions and connections on Instagram and Facebook. I wanted to bring it back to what I had on Orkut years ago: a place to stay in touch with friends. Want to guess how that went? Poorly.

First, if you don't have enough friends and connections, the platform will fill your feed with “suggested” content. God forbid you to open a feed that is empty and doesn’t create the FOMO pressure to keep opening and checking it again and again. They need to keep the idea that the world is never stopping and you are always missing out on something happening online.

Second, I realized my friends don't post friendly content anymore. It used to be that LinkedIn was your professional network, and friends and family shared memories on Facebook and Instagram. But all platforms are now self-promotion. It's all media and advertising. Instead of photos from the last vacation and my niece's first steps, I see promo codes and product reviews. I see picture perfect commercials for isolated lives.

When I moved to Canada and felt disconnected from my friends and family in Brazil, I used to post long reflections and realizations. I used to share my experiences. And that's how I felt connected to those friends. I didn't feel I was missing out on their lives because of the distance. It gave us something to discuss when we Skyped or called each other. But it's not safe to post opinions online anymore. It's not safe to have discussions. Your family vacation photo can be the beginning of your career downfall because you posted in the middle of a social campaign that decided that no posts would happen that day. The wrong like can make the world think of you differently, with no chance to explain yourself.

There's nothing social in social media. We might as well call them isolation networks. Instead of connecting us with friends, “social” media keeps us connected to work and career 24/7. Everything is about how you want the world to see you instead of being yourself. We are all personas in our matrix lives. Meanwhile, friendships and connections have less and less time to happen offline. Opinions are kept behind bitten tongues, and intellectual growth is stumped by an algorithm that makes it nearly impossible for you to challenge yourself to a new perspective.

I'm a professional and an entrepreneur, and as much as I don't crave a media presence, I understand that's part of doing business. But as a human and a social being, I'm done with taking part in isolation networks and look forward to the days when friends can just be friends without promo codes.